‘You’re weak’
That’s what he whispers in the periphery of my mind…
The devil on my shoulder trying to drip his caustic message onto the fertile soil of my dreams.
I was in the shower the other night thinking about this strange season I’m in at the moment, and it dawned on me (illuminated in a way only a shower can provide) that there’s this sneaky little narrative looping in the recesses of my mind…
‘Why can’t you do more like “them”?’
‘If you want to succeed, you’re going to have to do better “than this”…’
‘Look at how much “they’re” showing up, and they’re heaps busier than you…’
‘You need to push through, or you’ll never get “there”…’
It’s so interesting.
Intellectually I know none of it’s true, but it’s there.
Secretly calling ‘tag!’ from the shadows, trying to get my undivided attention and have me believe I’m “failing” ; not doing enough, being enough, showing up enough, even though I’m doing more than ever before, am clearer than ever before and am more successful (by my definition) than ever before.
It’s so interesting and the truth is - there are others doing “more” than me.
People, (women) who have more responsibilities, hats to wear and balls to juggle than me. People who very well may get “there” faster than me, and that’s ok.
